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by to fit my underwear
Summary: ITASAKU. She punched your face into mush and crushed your eggs, so what do you say? “Haruno Sakura, by the time I’m done with you, you’re going to feel like the sexiest woman alive.” Hey― she's got nice legs.


_STANDARD DISCLAIMER APPLIED_

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for Apple Juice and Candy Floss

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**Trending Topics**  
to fit my underwear

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"And may I ask just _where_ you've been all night? I smell tobacco and alcohol – have you been smoking and drinking, _again_?"

The young man standing before him drunkenly smirked at him as he stumbled upon his way up the stairs, his voice slurred and rather vague as he spoke in broken sentences, "Oh _Christ_… Itachi, y-you're acting as if you were… m-mum if she were still alive… I was out p-partying, drinking, d-doing what t-teen boys like me do…"

"I thought I've already told you not do any of that? It's bad for you, Sasuke – your health, your image; what will the public think when they see you all drunk and unfit for the eyes?"

Sasuke snorted at his older brother, he could be such a prude at times, and they were usually naïve little girls instead of hotshot twenty-something guys. Really, he wondered how he was even related to the guy – he was _so_ stiff!

"Please, Itachi… y-you wouldn't understand… It's more of a _youth_ t-thing," he gave the older man another of his drunken smirks and trudged up the stairs, his voice echoing through the large mansion as he shouted, "… an old f-fart like you w-wouldn't understand…"

The sober out of the two stiffened.

Old fart?

No way.

He was only twenty-five for heaven's sake!

How dare that foolish little brother of his call him old! Why, they were merely six years apart when it came to age! Besides, he knew how to have fun – how to party, how to hit on the ladies so bad to earn a sting on the cheek, how to chug down bottle to bottle of alcohol without hesitation, how to smoke like a true nicotine addict; he was still part of today's youth.

Or so he thought.

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It was when he went to the department store downtown dressed in dark sunglasses, a bowler's hat, a heavy brown trench-coat, and an inconspicuous moustache; to do his shopping – that he realized, he's been playing mum to Sasuke for far too long.

Really, doing the shopping, the laundry, then cooking, the cleaning – this was really getting out of hand.

Sometimes he wondered why he didn't just hire a couple of maids and butlers to run his errands; but then came the devastatingly traumatic flashback involving a bed, some rope, and a woman in a French maid outfit with her knickers down – harassment _always_ comes with the good looks.

Sasuke really was an irresponsible boy for his age, and he doubted his little brother would bear getting his hands on a soapy sponge; but Itachi knew – it was time for him to put his foot down and let him learn some independence, it was already long past the stage where he had to start caring for himself.

Yes, he'll do that; he'll take charge and sternly point out that he was now nineteen, and at that mature age, he should've already learned to do things by himself – instead of depending on his older and fortunately _helpful_ brother who's been running to and fro to serve his selfish needs; he needed to learn about the real world behind the comfort of having all-time support.

Lost amidst his thoughts concerning Sasuke and his future, Itachi hadn't noticed that he'd been pushing his cart in a straight path all this time – that is, until the far end edge of his cart hit a woman's bottom rather abruptly, causing her to start toppling backwards and into his cart, her dainty long legs dangling in the space just off the cart.

"What the – "

Broken out of his reverie by the relatively loud and shrill scream, his gaze instantly fell on a head of pink, a bum squashing his eggs, and a pair of rather shapely legs dangling helplessly in the air. He wondered why things always had to go wrong when he was busy thinking over something important.

"Get me _out_ of here!"

With a quick jerk, Itachi had her up on her feet, a scowl on her pretty face, and her skirt – not that he was looking or anything of the sort – ridden up high on her thigh. She was screaming a string of profanities in his face when came the sudden realization that he wasn't really listening to her but instead staring at her exposed legs.

"You pervert! Stop looking at my legs!"

The Uchiha shook himself out of his small daze and took a step back; the small woman looked rather dangerous when in fury albeit her size – he was actually a bit scared for a moment there. Nonetheless, he merely gave her a curt nod before handling his shopping cart again.

"It was nice meeting you," he murmured, shuffling over to the next aisle to pick up the rest of them items on his shopping list. But it seemed that the girl wasn't about to let him go that easy, as she too; pushed her cart to walk side by side with him.

"I wasn't done talking to you," she seethed. Itachi could clearly see that she was quite the impatient woman. And he decided that he wouldn't want to be acquainted with such a woman. No, he was just going to keep his mouth shut.

When he said nothing, her patience snapped. The pink-haired lady abruptly stopped mid-step, causing Itachi to stop and turn back, confused as to why this persistant and demanding woman suddenly gave up on trying to chastise him.

He didn't see what was coming.

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The dark-haired man brooded over his current condition; his face was bruised and mushed, he probably lost a tooth or two, his ass was painfully sore, and he just got punched by a girl which thoroughly deflated his ego. This was just great, absolutely _great_. He felt like strangling the air.

"I'm so very sorry!" The pink-haired one out of the two bit her lip nervously. "A lot of people have been telling me how bad of a temper I have but I never thought my control would slip! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to punch you at all! Really, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you…"

Itachi grunted and pressed the ice-pack harder onto his blue face – that punch had hurt like a mother. It was so hard that he even got thrown down on the ground by its sheer force. He involuntarily shuddered – really, what are women nowadays doing in fitness gyms? It _frightened_ him to even imagine this petite pink-haired woman lifting weights with bulky arms.

"So umm, can I buy you a drink or anything? You know, for punching you unconscious and all?" He decided that he liked it when she blushed like that, it was cute. He mentally slapped himself, cute wasn't a word in his vocabulary.

"I don't let strangers buy me drinks," he replied icily. But the girl seemed to pay no heed to his hostile tone as she laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck, holding out a pale manicured hand in introduction.

"Haruno Sakura."

He smirked and took her hand with his other hand which wasn't holding the blasted ice-pack. "Uchiha Itachi."

She seemed surprised for a moment before she narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing his appearance up and down. Her bottom lip decided to pucker out and he resisted the urge to touch her glossy lips with her finger – it seems that everything; his ego, his resolve, his eggs – crumbled today because of this girl.

"You look…" she scrunched up her pretty little nose and murmured, "… _different_."

He raised a brow at her declaration and unknowingly blurted out, "The good kind of different?"

She shook her head and took a step back, crossing her arms over her developing chest and rapidly tapping her right foot steadily on the wooden planks that were the floor of her apartment. She smirked at him – and Itachi decided that he hated her smirking.

"That _bad_ kind of different. You look… _older_ than in the magazines – is that why you were hiding your face?"

Itachi's smirk was once again wiped off his face as he deadpanned. "I am not old."

Sakura smiled at him and wagged her finger at him. "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, you know. C'mon you old geezer, you don't have to be embarrassed about your age!"

"I'm only twenty-five!" he practically screamed as he slapped her hand away and glared furiously at her, she just laughed harder at his angry expression.

"Oh, silly! I'm just kidding! Twenty-five isn't old at all! In fact, I'm turning twenty-three this year – only two years behind you, darling. They say boys, I say men. Besides, I like them older – the young ones like Sasuke can never give a girl what they _really_ want. They're just so… _lacking_ and _inexperienced_…" Sakura drawled out.

Itachi pulled himself closer to her, his ice-pack now abandoned as he leaned dangerously close to her. "You've been with my brother before…?"

He was given a rapid nod as an answer.

"And you want a real man, don't you?"

Another rapid nod.

He smirked.

"Haruno Sakura, by the time I'm done with you, you're going to feel like the sexiest woman alive."

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Well, hello.  
How long has it been? Around three months?  
My apologies; I've just been really caught up in schoolwork and I'm just terribly lazy to update.

This is first ItaSaku one-shot! Forgive the horribleness. I've made Sasuke a brat in this fic - 'cause he's special like that :)  
There isn't really a plot, _obviously_. Just wanted to try this pairing for once, especially after the request.  
Anyways, I've read through all my stories and compared them to this one; don't I write a bit differently in this one? I mean, my vocabulary and use of words and all.  
Hm.

_edit: re-uploaded on 13.03.10_


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